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Yawn. A low-cost airline is selling low-cost flights again. It's only a matter of time before they start paying us to travel - before adding on loads of hidden extras.
Funny enough, it looked like that time had come this morning when Ryanair was advertising a flight for -£1. But using, presumably a special money-making algorithm, that minus-a-pound flight turned into a £219.99 one further down the page.
There are none-the-less some deals to be had (book by close of play on 30 July).
>> Check out Ryanair's latest £1 offers
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If you can't read a map, a road sign or think for yourself then in-car satellite navigation could be for you. But it's expensive. Well, here's one for less than £50, including UK and European maps plus speed camera alerts. Worth a look:
http://www.ebuyer.com/product/161002/show_product_overview
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Too often the establishments dishing out money-off vouchers are the kind of places the discerning diner wouldn't touch with a very long chopstick, or barge pole by another name.
This offer is different because it includes some of the big names in the world of posh nosh. Ideal for anyone visiting or living in London.
You'll need the voucher, which you print out from the links below on the Evening Standard website.
Then choose and book from places such as Quaglino's, Meza, Cantina del Ponte (£10 for two courses), or Almeida, Avenue, Skylon Grill and Kensington Place (£15 for two courses), or Floridita, Sartoria (£25). This is just my selection, there are plenty of others to choose from.
>> Take a look at all the offers
OFFER VALID UNTIL SATURDAY 19 SEPTEMBER 2009
Terms and conditions:
Offer valid from 27 July until the 19 September 2009 inclusive. Table bookings are subject to availability. This offer is exclusive to Standard readers who have downloaded the D&D redemption voucher. You can take up the 'Dine at top London Restaurants from £10' offer as many times as you like and your voucher is valid for multiple use. One voucher is required per booking. Please mention London Evening Standard menu when booking. You must show your voucher on arrival at the restaurant.
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A friend of mine once studied how many sub-clauses a human can cope with in an English sentence before the brain explodes. I don't know the results because the paper was too badly stained to read when his head blew up.
His research went along the lines of: the man who lives in a house with a green door in a suburb of Liverpool where the courts are full footballers who are overpaid like musicians used to be until the internet that legitimises theft of copyrighted material from which artists earn money to pay the rent for the house with the green door and so on. Pause for breath. Bang!
I feel, had he lived, his life may not have been the worthless irritation it became for him because his knowledge could now be put to good use to help a human try to remember the hundreds of internet passwords that we now need to access anything useful, that we're not allowed to write down, must be unique, a combination of eight letters, some uppercase, and numbers that we all have to memorise.
Luckily, you don't have to remember them or write them down. His life would still have been worthless. For there's a little piece of software called Password Agent that securely stores all your passwords and, even better, automatically fills in the login details of all the sites you save. Check it out here:
http://www.moonsoftware.com/pwagent.asp
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Now get our newsletter - you don't even need a password!
There a few things that evoke the feeling of being on holiday than the smell of freshly applied sun cream.
And there are few things that epitomise the stench of a rip-off than the way that sun creams are priced.
At Tesco, Garnier Ambre Solaire Kids Colour Control Sun Spray is £5 a bottle.
But Sainsbury's has a 2for1 offer on it. Price: £11.99 a bottle. But they'll graciously give you another 'free' one. Do the maths.
See the comparison at MySupermarket
Click pic to enlarge
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Chinese cabbages cost about a quid at the supermarket. So if you have space to grow your own you might want to think about this offer: you can get 10 fast-growing plants for £14.95. Not bad already but you also get 10 purple sprouting broccoli plants, 10 pak chois, 10 white sprouting broccolis, 10 cabbages and 10 cauliflowers. That's 70 plants for £15 + £4p+p.
The great thing is that this stuff grows over winter.
Orders must be made by the end of July for delivery late August. Find out more.
http://www.suttons.co.uk/winterveg
Or call 0844 922 0606. Quote code: ABP9.
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The landlord has increased has increased my allotment rent from £5 to £50, what I can do?
Is the council obliged to provide me an allotment?
Ever since it became apparent that my cherished collection of original, rare, mint-condition punk singles are worth about the same as a rotten cheese sandwich that for a while looked a bit like Jesus, I gave up collecting.
At least I thought I had until I took a closer-than-usual look at our fridge door. It's completely covered in tacky, magnetic mementos of holidays, a maths set, pen holder, a thing that makes a chicken noise and if you discount the missing Q, the whole alphabet.
Like my record collection, fridge magnets are so completely and utterly pointless that they almost qualify as a niche branch of anarchism (note cheap punk reference), which is probably why I like them so much.
And which is why today I'm going to cash in my token from today's Daily Mail. You can get a free Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Princess fridge magnet by taking along the token to one of four shops. While stocks last! It's a bit of an effort but it's Harry Potter, one of Britain's few successful industries.
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Collections that actually can make you money
And now for some Harry Potter pics (click to enlarge)
This is the free fridge magnet. (Daily Mail costs 50p)
Following a non-scientific survey by me on the streets outside this building one lunchtime I can now reveal that motorists hate cyclists, cyclists hate motorists, pedestrians hate motorists and cyclists but cyclists hate pedestrians back so basically everyone hates each other. Trouble is, motorists know that they can transform their travelling enemies into roadkill with but a small amount of pressure on the accelerator pedal and walk away with little more than a ticking off from the authorities. The king of the urban jungle packs an internal combustion engine and there's nothing we can do. Is there?
Well, in a world where oil is running out and in a country proudly useless at public transport, it won't be long before the bicycle is the only way of getting around. (I have relatives who thought nothing of cycling from Essex to the Lake District in the 1950s.)
It's heartening to see then that this summer there are series of cycling events that involve cars being banned from four of our major cities. On one level it'll be a fun day out with friends and family whizzing around the city on your bike and on another, you'll get a first-hand taste of the future.
But it's not just for hardcore cyclists. It's for everyone (with a bike).
If (ridiculous analogy to follow) you've seen the film 28 Days Later and like the idea of a city without the constant din of car traffic is an intriguing one, Skyride is for you too.
It's taking place in August and September on the streets of Manchester, Leicester, Glasgow and London, which will become 'bike-only zones for a day of fun for the family'.
It's free. And it's liberating. It's also - rather ironically - sponsored by a subscription television channel, which offers the kind of deals that encourage you to stay in and watch as much telly as possible to get your money's worth. Never mind. Make an effort. Check out:
Now read: Commuting doesn't need to be this bad, there are tax breaks for cycling
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I had no idea that these things were still so popular. So, jumpy people, here's a shop with its entire trampoline stock on sale:
UK sports imports .com trampoline sale
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Greene King basks in sunshine as sales jump
Yep, inkless.
No ink.
Just special paper, which costs around £13 for 70-sheet packs.
This is a tempting offer for people who like an easy life.
Check this out.
As the world, well some of it, mourns the passing of the King of Pop lest we forget Joe Strummer, whose contribution to, and influence on, decent music far outweighs much of what sits in various halls of fame around the world.
And what better way to pay your respects than enter a raffle to try to win Clash drummer Topper Headon's Mini Cooper, which he has donated to Strummer's New Music Foundation charity.
Enter now, it's only a tenner. A car for a tenner! Rock 'n' roll.
http://www.strummerville.com/toppers-raffle/
Entry closes on 13 July.
And for some now pictures of The Clash.
Skyscanner is one of the must-check comparison sites for flights and car hire. Now it has launched a hotel search. I found deals that weren't available on Tripadvisor or the likes of Expedia. There's a decent range of sites being searched and results appear in one page rather than separate windows. Add it to your list.
http://www.skyscanner.net/hotels/
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Holiday articles tips and advice (general)
Now that Wimbledon is over for another year and as a nation we collectively return to the view that tennis doesn't exist until it returns to south-west London in the final week of June 2010, here's something to keep the memory alive. And what a fine way to waste a lunch hour. Or an entire evening.
The massively popular website Y8.com has hundreds of free games you can fire up and play at your desk.
There are more than 800 hundred sports games alone.
Such as this one:
Tennis Game
Click here to play this game
Or if tennis really isn't your thing, there are more 80 money-related games to enjoy.
Monkey cliff diving anyone?
Monkey Cliff Diving
Click here to play this game
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How much does it cost to build a champion capable of reaching Centre Court?
You need to act quick to take advantage of this one. Because it's a token collect. Six from the Daily Mail newspaper and one from the Mail on Sunday and the last one is being printed on 10 July. So you need to start today, tomorrow or Saturday.
Price is per person (based on four sharing). So what's the catch? Well it's in a caravan. But I've stayed in these vans several times and they're not only fine but are in fine locations. And for a few quid a head who's complaining?
Find out more and book here:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/article-1195507/UK-Family-Holidays-just-15-.html?ITO=1490
PS. There are two tokens in today's paper to get you going.
NOW READ: Ryanair's latest £5 seat sale - in the school summer holidays
Anyone who has read my book will know that I wasn't particularly kind to people who buy chimeneas. (My brother loves his even if the first one did arrive smashed into a million pieces.)
I was using the chimenea as an example of things people buy that they don't need.
But time moves on and prices are coming down. And there is a growing range of cast iron ones that are extremely unlikely to break in the post or if they're knocked over.
This site has loads being discounted at the moment. This one (pictured) for example: Small chimenea with grill.
Ryanair is the Marmite of the skies. You love it or you hate it.
You respect the low prices, the fact it has shaken up the market for the good, its record on punctuality and the go-getting attitude of the chief executive Michael O'Leary - or you hate the fact you don't get an allocated seat, the extra charges such as pay-to-check-in and pay-to-pay unless you have an elusive Electron card and the customer's-always-wrong attitude of the chief executive.
Whatever side of the perimeter fence you sit, you can't deny that flying halfway across Europe for a fiver plus taxes and other cr*p is a fine way to see our bit of the world, especially if the deal is available in the school summer holidays, which this time it is.
Check out the latest £5 flights here:
http://www.ryanair.com/site/EN/?klc=y
>> NOW READ: The most useful page on the internet: Ryanair's list of charges
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Holiday articles tips and advice (general)
The big two former motoring clubs, the AA and the RAC, offer breakdown insurance that can sometimes feel like they're trying to break the bank balance.
But here's one that offers similar all-encompasing cover such as at-home recovery and tow-home from the UK and Europe for just 60 quid for a year - even for older cars.
Go to Gocompare and click on Breakdown cover.
http://www.gocompare.com/insurance/
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